50 Things I'd Tell My Younger Self

50 Lessons I Learned in 50 Years that I Wish I Had Known

1.       When spending a full day at the lake on the 4^th of July, and your skin reflects the sun, you must apply sunscreen.

2.       When you’re 20, you think you’re right. When you’re 25, you know you’re right. Then…. life happens.

3.       Speaking of, knowing what you don’t know can be more powerful than what you do…and surrounding yourself with people that fill the gaps in your knowledge & talent means you can be a part of a real-life team of Avengers. In order to do so, understand what your superpower is and embrace it…

4.       …and once you’ve joined your Avengers group and established your character, as you get older, choose your costume wisely: you won’t look as good in spandex as you used to (Important note: by the time you reach 50 be ready for your metabolism to take a voluntary, permanent hiatus. Unlike your teen years, pizza every other night, and morning, will no longer be a solid diet, so enjoy the indulgences while they last).

5.       Taking a sincere interest in people is the best way to gain meaningful friendships. You'll learn this best from your best buddy Mike. And you'll also learn when it’s apparent a friend's interest in you doesn’t match yours in them, much like that half gallon of milk in your fridge, that friendship will have a quick expiration date. Throw it out before it spoils.

6.       “If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll wind up somewhere else.” –Yogi Berra

7.       Living a life filled with Passion + Purpose = Fulfillment

8.       When someone says, “that’s the way we’ve always done it”, there’s a massive potential for a new way forward. Look for a niche and fill it with relentless ambition.

9.       “Mother knows best” is a real thing. Listen to Mom….and, especially your Grandma.

10.  A happy life centers on making the right choices. When you’re uncertain what choice to make, go to #9. (Also, see #43).

11.  When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Actions do speak much louder than words...

12.  ...and then, know: don’t walk away to teach people lessons, but walk away after you’ve learned yours. Be prepared: you’ll go through the early part of life pursuing what you define as your version of peace, & then the second half of life trying to preserve & protect it.

13.  While you should know your worth and demand it, you should simultaneously offer your time to others openly & freely. Be a giver and it will come back x100.

14.  It’s much better to remain silent and be figured for a fool than to speak and remove any & all doubt. Remind yourself of this when you say something you shouldn’t have (which will happen often!).

15.  Super Bowl XL will forever be a sham…and not giving it to Marshawn from the goal line in another Super Bowl will make you lose your mind. Which is why Seattle will be destined to win the Super Bowl twice in your first 50 years. Life’s lesson here? Often years of anguish can be balanced with times of euphoria. As in everything with life you must be patient, endure the pain, and embrace the ride, and when you do it will make the times of celebration that much sweeter.

16.  Speaking of football: when you can be emotionally impacted from the result of teenagers kicking an oblong shaped pigskin, your life must be pretty good. It also may signal that you (and many others) need more hobbies.

17.  Possess strong convictions that are lightly held unless/until you have first-hand perspectives. Even then…you’re likely not fully “right.” Related, politics will always come down to perspective and those who have gained it & the many who need it. In all cases in life, to grow you must have it and if you don’t possess it, you must pursue it. But remember this: you can’t find it if your ears or eyes are closed, or if you’ve fully formed your opinion already. Be open-minded until you’re confident you’ve achieved it...

18.  ...and once you’re enlightened with what you deem as great perspective, remember at the end of the day: “Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies” (1 Corinthians 8:1).

19.  Should you spend your weekly allowance on Garbage Pail Kids, put them in a protective case rather than using them in the spokes of your bicycle.

20.  High school will be rough, especially because you won’t know many of these 50 things by then. Friends will turn on you, you’ll experience heart break, and you’ll witness the ugly sides of competition—in sports, in the pursuit of attention from others, and in many other ways related to the human tendency of territorial behavior. Just know, high school will be a precursor to life in general (especially in a smaller town & specific industries). You won’t love high school, but you must learn from the experience and if you look for it, you’ll gain valuable perspective (see #17 and also related, see #24). Lesson: hold tight to those who want to cheer you on, because there will be plenty who will secretly hope for you to fall short.

21.  Oh, and regarding school….in Chemistry class, should you not know what hell you’re doing, be sure to become friends with the smartest kid in the class. You’ll end up with an A (see #3).

22.  Don't dwell on criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from. You’ll encounter this often.

23.  You may think they are a friend or ally, but be warned: whoever gossips about others to you will also gossip about you.…and when they do, know this: false stories often get formed by others to outwardly deal with their inward feelings of inadequacy or, worse, to cover their ugly truth. Don’t let public perception shaped from someone's convenient narrative be your ultimate reality. Let ‘em talk, and keep #11 & #12 at the forefront.

24.  You will often feel misunderstood, especially as a young person. It’s natural. So, in relationships, be sure to seek those who want to understand you, not exploit you. (Note: it will take time to learn who falls into each category, and there will be times when this learning exercise will sting).

25.  As you are blessed to get older, self-awareness is one of the most infrequently found, valuable qualities you can possess. And self-awareness builds self-respect, which is equally valuable. But here’s the most important part: you can’t effectively have one without the other. Always strive for both and beware of those who obviously don’t.

26.  Don’t go into business with anyone that won’t put forth as much effort and time as you will….and if you must, and you want success in partnership, start first by being in business with your parents. They’ll support you, roll up their sleeves, and you’ll never have to worry about their effort or integrity.

27.  Related, whether professionally or personally, choose your partner wisely (See:#9 & #43).

28.  The 80s will forever be the best decade of all time. The 90s will be closely second. Peg those pants, wear the vibrant colors, shave those weird lines in your hair, and add subwoofers in the trunk. But….do not…and I repeat, DO NOT: 1. Let your Mom buy you Pro Wing shoes. 2. Deploy a haircut that looks like, uh....a mushroom.

29.  When someone says, “my truth” rather than “the truth”, the greatest way to measure the accuracy of “their truth” is to first consider & understand their motive in the development of said truth.

30.  Taking risks in pursuit of rewards takes leaps of faith, and understand that many will talk, but few will act. Because of that, they experience a self-fulfilling prophecy of unhappiness: a fear of failure leads to not taking a leap, which then leads to regret, which can lead to a lack of joy. Lessons are rooted in taking leaps, and your growth comes from both success & failure from these leaps, so don’t be afraid to jump & also don't be puzzled when other people aren’t growing. Be the author of your success by taking action—and if you don’t succeed….at least you’ll grow. (Also, it will lead to #17 and #31) .

31.  Speaking of success….some of your biggest scares in life will lead to your biggest blessings. It’s all part of a divine plan that you must allow to unfold. Keep your head high, take a deep breath, and embrace the journey.

32.  Related, faith is a conscious practice, and you’ll lose track of it sometimes. You’ll have times that will test it, and you’ll have other times where you’ll lose it. When you need to come back to it to restart it, see #50.

33.  “Mediocre people don’t like high achievers, and high achievers don’t like mediocre people.” -Nick Saban. When you wish to be a high achiever, be ready for what comes with it….and I'm not talking ribbons or awards. Also, see #48.

34.  Appreciate every moment with your loved ones. And, if you’re fortunate to have your parents live into their 70s and beyond, soak it up as much as possible. Time is the most precious commodity in life.

35.  If you live in Eugene, OR, it likely isn’t a cold….it’s allergies.

36.  Do the work yourself, there are no shortcuts or “get-rich” genie bottles. And then, if you have the good fortune to have others join you because work becomes abundant, know three things: 1, leadership is rooted in action, accountability and setting an example. 2, collaboration is only optimized by providing room for others to be heard, be seen, and genuinely contribute. & 3, show appreciation for your colleagues publicly whenever possible (and again, always remember #3 above).

37.  When your Mom (accidentally) names you after an infamous, northwest-based airline hijacker, just go with it. After all, if he jumped out of an airplane at 10,000 feet with a pile of cash and survived (purportedly), you can take risks in life and survive, too. (Also, be prepared to be asked where the money is 1,000 times throughout your life).

38.  “The bible says to turn the other cheek. But it doesn’t say how many times.” –Bill Cooper

39.  Later in life if you're fortunate to have kids, love on them, but remember your initial job is not to be their best friend. Your role is to help them be the best version of themselves and prepare them for the world outside of you. There’s time to be their bestie, and that time is once they’ve become an adult. Even at that point, you must continue to support their growth. Enjoy every stage.

40.  Commit to your purpose before committing to any group. When they align, you’ll know. Nothing is more powerful than a life driven by a purpose you discovered in your own soul, not through the pursuit of approval from others. In the years ahead, you’ll discover many facades displayed by those who want to shape perception of their good. Be committed to authenticity; it will be a rare trait as the world turns.

41.  You will have times of adversity in your life, but that adversity will build character and even more, it will lead you to a wonderful life if you let it. Just as important: you never know who is going through adversity and know that everyone has their own versions of what struggle looks like. Always lead with grace.

42.  Spend time with people that feed your soul and spend time with those who you admire and respect. Hopefully they’re the same people.

43.  Marry someone smarter than you, someone that will still accept that you are much more immature than they are and the fact that gap will only grow over time. So…your favorite movie is “Stepbrothers” and hers might be the “English Patient”….you can still have a great marriage! The key is putting her first, prioritizing time to nurture your relationship, and protecting your wife’s heart at every step. Side note: don’t think for a second you’ll convince her your humor is better (even though it is a material fact).

44.  Copying is really the best form of flattery, even if it will piss you off. Blaze your own path and anticipate if you’re doing something right, this will come with the territory.

45.  This should be your life’s motto: “I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have” –Abraham Lincoln. Translation: living a life of principle will be a life well lived. Keep that as your north star, regardless of if people attempt to take you off course.

46.  It’s very natural to become good friends with a client, but it’s very difficult to serve a client who is first a friend. The good news: you'll meet some of your forever friends from your work life.

47.  No one will be a better basketball player than Michael Jordan, so enjoy the era. Then be prepared that you’ll be reliving that period of your life, regardless of your age, by wearing the same things you wore as a teenager. Like, copious amounts. Nostalgia is holding on to periods of your life you’re fond of, so don’t be afraid to do it….who cares if those athletic shoes might look silly with your tux. Those who know...know.

48.  Don’t fear being one of one, be unapologetically unique. And as you go through life, pursue growth (see #30). And to effectively grow, just like gardening, know when to prune and know when to fertilize. Also note, some will do the pruning for you…despite that, keep growing.

49.  Always appreciate how far you’ve come while recognizing how far you have yet to go.

50. The key to a happy life is living a life filled with gratitude.